Wednesday, March 04, 2009

I Got Nothin'.

The apartment I am leaving isn't much, but it does occasionally let you in on some secrets through the windows. If you wake up early enough, and look out the window enough at the relentlessly changing sky, you can catch glimpses of wonder such as that poorly captured here.

Does anyone look at sunshine streaming through clouds in this way and not think of God? This morning, it looked like mercy. I felt mercy for the fact that I was a near shut-in last week, paralyzed and overwhelmed with the sadness behind me and the transition in front of me. I felt mercy for being awake way too early, and way too far afield from the person I want to be. I felt mercy for being unemployed and yet not being the yoga-practicing, book-reading, gourmet cook I imagined I would be in this block of free time. I felt mercy for being silent and boring. I felt mercy for never giving my friends as much as they give me. I felt mercy for being alive.

And then it was gone.

Music: "Power Fantastic"

4 Comments:

Blogger the wayward o said...

are you sure that's not gas?

2:53 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

oh PB, I knew I could count on you.

3:13 PM  
Anonymous Z said...

Not to copy-catter PB, or pile on, but my first thought was "Pretty pic of San Fran getting nuked!"

One person's early-morning epiphanl revelation is another person's snark! "It's the Cir-cle of li-i-ife!..."

7:30 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

I got your mercy right here...

9:58 AM  

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