Sunday, October 12, 2008

Toughest Job in the World.

Take a look at your significant other, right now. Take a look in your mind's eye, if you have to. No really. Take a good, long look.

And now, say thank you. Say thank you to this person, because no matter what nonsense you have been through, no matter how much of a total goof he/she is, and no matter how much of a total douche you are, this person has agreed to lend your pathetic life some meaning. In the big game, they made you first-pick. You!

You're not sure what you would do without this person to take the edge off your existential dread. Without this person, there is no one to put up with your b.s. This person is your excuse, your structure, your frame of reference, your anchor. They have their own crap to deal with, but they have assented to taking on yours, too. It's a big job.

If only you could escape yourself the way you can escape your mate. It feels really fucking good to get out and be your own person for a night, or a day -- a week, even. I mean Jesus, it's really tiring being around someone who is intimately familiar with all of the ways in which you are kind of a fraud! We all need to escape, at least for a little while, from the person who actually decided to stick around. By definition, that person is sort of your life boss.

Just like we all need jobs to feel like we're not just completely screwing around, we all need a Point Person to keep us from wandering around our own navels all the time, wondering what the hell we're doing. What the hell are you doing? You're answering to your Point Person, that's what. Aren't you kind of glad they hired you?

I guess this is as close as I'll ever get to endorsing monogamy.


  1. Anonymous7:28 PM

    This post is actually a really good summary of why I have not been in a relationship for 8 years or whatever it has been: I just can't conceive of asking someone to put up with all the bullshit that constantly percolates in my mind, much less be interested in it. I'm good at filtering it out before presenting anything to the world, but the idea of "emotional intimacy" frightens me on behalf of the potential other person.

    Great post.

  2. ten years ago i was the last person on earth to see this man alive.

  3. PB dot C, will you guest-blog it?! Such an amazing story.

    Lindemann, you're young. Just trick yourself into it by telling yourself you're not really going to get involved with anyone and are just going to have fun. Before you know it, you will open up.

  4. As a single person, it has been very difficult, but a good challenge, to become my own Point Person. I honestly do not believe I would be as good a partner as I could be for someone else if I did not try my hardest to be as objective about myself as I can. We'll see if any future significant others agree.

  5. Anonymous8:31 PM

    I was going to follow your instructions until I realized that I don't have a significant other. So I looked at my cat instead. And felt like a loser.

  6. I need to do exactly what pilgrimchick is doing. Because I don't have even a cat.


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